The oddness that is..

It keeps sticking out like a sore thumb. This oddness. I find it odd that things change for no apparent reason. There's no ebb and flow anymore. There's clouds and everything else that would blur your thoughts. It would have been so easy to talk once upon a time, no words mumbled, fumbled, jumbled or even eaten. No thoughts swallowed. You'd say exactly what you wanted to. You wouldn't mince, you wouldn't think twice.

Then there's judgement. There's a pronounced order. You are stamped and sealed. This is how you are. But you actually aren't. You are the same old. But the world seems to think differently and you are thus confused. You wonder and even marvel. This oddness. Was it in hiding? No hint of it at all. But all of a sudden, you see only oddness.

The goodness, was it in some other state of consciousness? The ritual warning has begun and now you tear away from everyone?

-V

These days..

.. fate plays a lot of tricks. It leaves you in a flux. Now is that a good thing or a bad thing? For folks who want clarity, it can ruin their mental make up. For folks who care a damn, it's just a passing incident. And on comes the next.

This cliche about wanting things a little too much and having to wait that much longer or work that much harder to actually get them -- I don't know how much of it is intertwined with fate.

So, if you think too much about things you want a little too much, would you never get them? This is of course, when you have done everything you can and then the rest is left to somebody else's judgement or some other action to happen.

On the other hand, if you stop thinking about things too much, would you automatically be the first one or be among the first ones to get them?

What's the answer? Anyone who can relate to this? What do you think works?

I am sure the opinion will be divided quite equally. Oh what the heck. Might as well watch the ol' ball bounce and wait for it to stop somewhere. It's gotta.

-V

LTNC

So, just like I start all my other periodic (!) posts on this blog, here's one more with the "Oh, it's been such a long time since I wrote anything here!" tirade.

Everyday there are a gazillion questions floating around my head, mostly about a particular topic. The funniest thing is, these questions are never going to be answered. I wish there was a "Mind-Reader" app which you could install on yourself and you could try it say 10 times, before actually buying it.. wouldn't you wanna buy it? I might want only around 3-4 tries :D

But either way, what's life without its tricks and intricacies? (When I typed this, the first dude who came into my mind was Sri Sri Sri Sri.... no offence of course, it's just the philosophical angle).

You live through these situations to see the light of day. All these things just help you learn, and maybe tell you in subtle ways that things aren't always what they seem to be. You learn to accept this fact, and you move on. Difficult for things to work your way ALL the time. YOU have a specific way of doing things, and coming to conclusions/decisions. It doesn't mean that the world can work in the same manner! Gotta let the world be, let it work it's way through all the permutations and combinations, and one day, when your time comes, it will settle down on you. Just ride this humongous wave of ups and downs. Surf. Surf I say.

And you will be happy.

-V

Profound dislike..

.. for folks who impose their mannerisms on you. I say "mannerisms" and not ideals/principles here, plainly because this has nothing to do with ideals/principles.

Person X behaves in a certain manner given a certain situation - mind you, there's no right/wrong manner here, it's just "any" manner. Essentially, this "situation" is not bounded by morals, in which case it would always boil down to right/wrong. It is an everyday "situation" that you and I might face, which will not have a right/wrong way to deal with, there would be many ways.

For instance: Liking cars, movies, doing certain things in a manner which you prefer, so on and so forth.

It's absolutely annoying, when you are asked questions about certain aspects (like the above) and then you are JUDGED based on the ANSWERS you give! As in, there's a WORD which describes you at the end of the conversation!

Psychotic! Psycho-analytic? What not! Just plain dumb!

Here's the deal. People do things their own way when faced with certain situations (I repeat, outside the realm of moral concerns), leave them be. Let them live their lives, you live yours. You don't act godly or smart by questioning them about their lives and then giving suggestions. Nobody asked for them, nobody needs them. If they do, they will ASK you. Then, please feel FREE. Why waste your energy?

Shucks, what do some people take when they are growing up? Brain-numbing overdose of "I+WILL+ALWAYS+BE+OBSTINATE+AND+STUPID" cereals?

God!

-V

Change..

Why are people afraid of change or changing? Just when something different or new happens, the biggest of sleepers become the most active of skeptics. There are doubts created, fingers pointed at, conspiracy theories mooted, the list is endless.

I keep wondering all along about this aspect. This is not only obvious when change happens around you, but also obvious with this so-called MANTRA of this generation - "Don't change me, accept me the way I am" or "I don't want to change just to accommodate somebody/something else".

I think it's good to change, especially when you have done something wrong, and you know it's root cause. It's absolute pig-headed stupidity if you end up doing something wrong on all counts, and you don't want to change the way you are, just because YOU ARE the way YOU ARE.

It pays to change - especially when you listen, understand and feel what's happening around you. Change is just a function of life - you get along with change. You just keep learning all the darn time, you assimilate change, make it part of you and become a better person. You don't repeat the mistakes, you GROW UP.

Never be averse to change around you or inside you.

-V

Conscientiousness..

The definition is straight out of wiki:

"Conscientiousness is the trait of being painstaking and careful, or the quality of acting according to the dictates of one's conscience. It includes such elements as self-discipline, carefulness, thoroughness, organization, deliberation (the tendency to think carefully before acting), and need for achievement. It is an aspect of what has traditionally been called character."

I am going to briefly touch upon just 1 aspect - "The quality of acting according to the dictates of one's conscience". If there's a good conscience at work, there's always going to be a sense of empathizing, a sense of trying to do the "right" things. I believe in keeping this as an integral part of my character, and it's not in my make-up to accept that there are people who can give a serious thought about what they did or did not do, but are incapable of understanding what effect this may have on all the other folks who are involved. I had stated this when I went through a similar situation close to 3 years back -- "MONDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2007 - Shallow." You can find it here http://sinsofsilence.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html

To keep it simple, I cannot stand people who don't understand the ramifications of their actions. Yet these very same people, in their own cloud of grand assumptions, act like they don't know anything about what they did, and they don't know about what they caused. It just ticks me off. And then, the nerve to actually state the above!

I always, and will always continue to understand what I am doing, and what could be the ramifications of my actions. It's got nothing to do with karma. I feel happy and contented, when I keep everyone I am with, happy. Simple. Trust this would leave a mark on anyone who reads..

-V

(And might I add my profound dislike for people copying my signature - just like the "-V" above. Please get original).

Ode..

I just realized that there were a bunch of things I have gone through over the past 10-12 years. And in a matter of minutes, all of them came to life. I wrote this specifically keeping this situation in mind..

Spent all this while, glazed eyes reflect

Another time and place, is this regret?

Here we are now, I am with you,

This is where I wanna be

Forget those thoughts, erase this board,

Just you and me.

Wish I could tell you, enough to ease this burden

Wish I could express, how long it takes to clear the rust

It takes a while to understand this endless black hole

Redundant as it seems,

I need to borrow you, your time,

There ain't no place I'd rather be.

-V