Introspective Madness during the Sunset..

Ok.

So I am in a spiral loop of sub/semi-consciousness. The same pictures passing by me over and over and over again.

I wonder, most of the times, about why I care so much.

Why do I care so much about feelings?

Why do I care so much as to not hurt?

Why do I care so much about living and let living?

Why do I care?

I figured that I do, because there are only 2 states my mind can be in:

1) Really, and I mean REALLY care.

2) Don't care one bit.

I can't be in between. I kind of get caught in a weird space between "Right" and "Not Right" and I wouldn't know what exactly to do to get out of it - in order to lean towards one of the states mentioned above.

Does it matter that I really care? I honestly don't have an answer.  It matters to me, which is obvious, because I care, because I give a damn and it is a big deal for me. Situations and circumstances aren't helping me either.

I get so caught up in trying to be nice, I forget what I want in order for me to feel nice about myself. Sometimes, I do get a dose of "nice" .. The dose needs to be more continuous. I think the word I am looking for is "Everlong".

-V